Ramblings
Ok, so I haven’t posted for a while. Its not that I don’t want to or haven’t thought about it, I have. A lot. I am guessing that my reticence is a reflection of my state of mind lately. It feels like I am on the cusp of something great but I am holding back. Worried about taking that step that will launch me over the edge into flight.
It is many things; fear, insecurity, not enough self confidence/ self belief.
This nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe I am about to bite off more than I think I can handle?
But upon reflection what have I really got to worry about?
This has been a HUGE year for me. It started off with my first ever Triathlon, for a laugh, and has escalated into so many personal goals reached and smashed than I ever dreamed possible.
In February I told myself I would be happy if I could just run 5km without stopping. I have since run over 10km and smashed my 5km PB to under 30 minutes. I have cycled more kilometres in the last 9 months than I cycled in the last 20 years. And so much more. All this while homeschooling the 6 munchkins, dealing with pre-puberty blues and being constantly, persistently broke.
2013 is promising to be year of adventure and new horizons. Simon finishes his apprenticeship (THANK THE LORD!!!) I am planning a whole new curriculum for the munchkins and I have somehow said yes to being part of the Northern Beaches Cycling Club Women’s Development team… I think this means I will be riding in races and helping other lady riders…
Helping other lady riders to learn how to ride and get confident on their bikes – No Worries. But RACING? Me? Hmmm…
And therein lies my self confidence issue. I know I am a good rider BUT because I ride with so many other REALLY fast & powerful riders who have so much more time to train and ride than I do, I am usually the slowest out there.
On the upside, I have been helping out in a beginners ladies riding group and also riding with a ladies who have started riding again after a long break from their bikes and who have just bought a new bike and this has boosted my confidence hugely.
So the bottom line is basically I guess I am just going to do what I do best, jump and learn to fly as I go – Such is the story in the Adventures of Jacqueline
8isgr8 